this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize