And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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