I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
