In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
