Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
