Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Too much gin, very little bucket
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
