he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I am available for nakedness
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize