my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Randomize
