You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize