Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
