i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
