giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There r osticjed everywhere
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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