Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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