There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
