So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
