Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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