My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
