Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
