Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
