This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
