And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
