Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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