Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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