it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
