first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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