Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
