D3 body, D1 cock
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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