Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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