Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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