I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
time to smoke my breakfast
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
