I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
