and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
