her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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