Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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