Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
