you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
ugly people sure do ruin things
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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