It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
