In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
