You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize