i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
