btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
