Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
