So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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