I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
