Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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