I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
