i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize