I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
