just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
