It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
