I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
wow bdsm is so cute
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