peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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