He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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