I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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