I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
This baby is an asshole
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
