omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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