Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
His nipple licking is glorious
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