Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
