Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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