so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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