why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
