Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
