and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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