It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
