tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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