I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
