Heybabeimwearingurpanties
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
