the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
