Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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